It’s getting to be that time of year again where
summer gatherings are in full swing. This is also the time of year that huge
life events take place and invitations start pouring in for celebrations. I like
parties, family gatherings, and almost always attend any event that I am invited
to. Yet, I was thinking the other day that last summer I went to a wedding,
college graduation, and a baby shower, all of which I gave very nice monetary
gifts. Do you know how many "Thank You" notes I received? None! I find this very
rude and offensive! I feel that if you have time to send out
invitations, then you have time to send a quick thank you as well. This really
irks me too on the invites that I feel I received just because I would be
another gift giver. You know what I am talking about. Those people you never
hear from until they have a party where gift giving is the norm. The college
graduate did post an informal "Thanks to all who attended my graduation" on his
Facebook wall. I don't want to be collectively grouped into a tacky Facebook
shout out when I took time out of my day to attend your event and gave a nice
gift. It doesn't have to be hand written either. With all the technology out
there to reach people today, I think it would be ok to send a quick text, email,
or even a Facebook message acknowledging the gift and saying thanks. It doesn't
matter how it's delivered, just make it personal. I know there are those who say
they don't gift give for a thank you. I guess I feel differently. If I give you
a gift, I expect a thank you. It’s good manners. If you can't find the time to
say thank you, I will not be finding the time to attend any more of your future
events.
I have also had people expect me to do for them
without a polite request. I had one person say, "There is a family at my church
that is struggling. I'm going to need all the clothes your girls have out
grown." And since I am a sahm, "I need you to watch my kids on xxx day." Look, I
love helping people, but please ask, don't demand.
Also, my mom and I were discussing how we
have attended every event of a certain family member for the past few years, yet
she has not been to one of ours. Functions and communication are two way
streets. I like to feel like I am a valued part of someone’s life, so when it
starts feeling a little one sided, it’s time for me to move on. If relationships
are important to you, you need to learn to give as well as take.
If you are sending out invitations for any life events this year, do remember
that a little please or thank you will go a long way!
source
Very true. You as giving out of the goodness of your heart, people should not demand anything of you. So very rude!! We've taught our girl to say "thank you" for the small things like when people hand her something or open the door for her. It's so impt to start young!
ReplyDeleteYes, I too think that manners should start being taught early! Once it becomes routine, having good manners just comes naturally as they get older.
DeleteThis is so true! I've noticed that more and more people aren't sending out thank you notes and they'll say "Oops I forgot" or "I didn't have time". You can take a bit of time each day to work on it, it IS possible! And I can't believe how that person demanded you give clothes and watch their kid :S That's unreal! Manners are harder to come by now a days, but if anything, it makes me appreciate the people who still have them :)
ReplyDeleteI believe if you have time to update your Facebook status constantly, you have time to write out a few thank you notes too lol. I guess my generosity has become expected to some where they feel they don't need to ask permission anymore, they figure I'll do it anyway, so why bother with being polite about it? I also appreciate those more who display good manners.
DeleteI have to agree with this as well. There was a time where thank you notes were mandatory and if you didn't send them out you were considered to be just plain bad mannered. When did that change? Personally I still think there's nothing better than mailing a thank you note but a phone call, email, etc would also pass for me.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter is turning two this weekend and we mailed a birthday invitation to her grandparents who live several hours away. They actually mailed her a thank you card for the invitation! Now, I'm certainly not saying that is necessary but my daughter was absolutely delighted! Small thinks like that can mean so much.
That is so cute that they sent her a thank you card in the mail. I know my kids get excited when they receive mail too.
DeleteI'd like to know when it changed also. It must be considered "old school" now to do these things, but I still find rude when one can't take the time to shoot off a quick thank you!
Some people just don't appreciate how others extend out a helping hand now a days. I've taught my kiddies from earlier age manners such as please, thank you, no thanks, yes please, etc. I also am a firm believer in sending thank you notes.
ReplyDeleteStopping by via the Friendship Friday Hop, following you in all the locations we have in common.
Man I definitely hear you on this one! I remember when I was late sending thank you cards for my baby shower, I felt so bad I called and thanked people, then send the cards later on too. What has happened to manners? Sometimes I feel like I'm the only polite one left. And using Facebook for things like that is just wrong...
ReplyDelete